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| 2008-08-02 15:35 |
| Lying to Bend the Truth |
| Public |
 bitchy |
| "Lying From You" by Linkin Park |
|
I remember what they taught to me,
Remember condescending talk,
Of who I ought to be,
Remember listening to all of that,
And this again,
So I pretended up a person who was fitting in.
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| 2008-07-30 04:44 |
| I'd ask if you remember me but most of you never even knew me at all. |
| Public |
 indifferent |
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I'm still alive. I'm back in Los Angeles. Go to Hell.
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| 2008-07-30 04:24 |
| FM Application/August Topic |
| Public |
| cynical |
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Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean. - Maya Angelou
Gracyn Bennett has spent a lot of time hating those who let her be dead.
Of course she realizes that it was in the middle of a battle bigger than she'd even imagined as she'd been drawing idly in her notebook as they explained the gravity of what they were about to face. She knew it was supposed to be on an apocalyptic scale but such a thing is hard to fathom if you don't actually know what that means or you've never seen one before.
She takes pills that make her sleep dreamless so she doesn't have to remember the carnage. So that she doesn't have to hear their voices screaming in agony, over and over. To keep her bolting into the bathroom to wash her hands again and again until her skin is red and bruised because she still sees the blood there when she closes her eyes and even when they're open. She drinks hard because the alcohol gives her something to swallow besides her own tongue when she wakes up screaming at night and sees the Yaced demon coming right for her to slit her throat with its terrible claws.
But nothing eases the ache that Gray feels now. To stake her own parents was unthinkable, but it had to be done and she was the only one around who could actually do it. She didn't know of any other slayers in her area. Probably because they were all out living in posh dorms and training with people who weren't really going to hurt them at the end of the day and pretending to be prepared for the worst. The inevitable. So she had to protect them from what they'd become. Her parents. They had become the thing she was supposedly destined to kill which is why she had to. No matter how much it broke her heart or made her want to join them.
The bitterness she feels that any of it ever happened, that she wasn't prepared, that they had failed her is almost nothing compared to the rage she feels when she remembers what it was like it lay dying with people stepping over her body like she was already gone. Someday, maybe she'll be able to forgive those who let her down when she had most needed them to show her the way and make her into the kind of girl didn't touch the ground without coming back up swinging. But she will never have it in her to bury the rage or forgive the ones who let her be dead.
And that's why Gracyn Bennett is okay and has made it this far when most days she'd have rather lay down and really be dead. She's more angry than bitter. She has more rage than sadness. Her sorrow has been replaced by hate.
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| 2008-07-30 02:58 |
| Background |
| Public |
| indescribable |
|
Name: Gracyn Joann Bennett, known as Gray
Age: 18, 19 in November
Hometown: Baltimore, MD
Family: Grayson Bennett (father - deceased), Johanna Finley-Bennett (mother - deceased)
Occupation: Slayer (retired)
History: Gracyn Bennett was born on a cold November day to Grayson and Johanna Bennett of Baltimore, MD. The couple had all but given up hopes of conceiving when at 32, Johanna became pregnant with what they would forever call their "miracle child". Knowing they would only ever have one child, they named her after both of them, just changing the spelling up a little.
Her father was a Professor of History, specializing in Ancient Civilizations. Her mother was the owner of very successful restaurant in the Inner Harbor called By The Sea that had been passed down to her by her father. Gracyn, or Gray as she was known to everyone but her parents had absolutely no interest in her father's academic pursuits or her mother's business savvy and spent the majority of high school coasting by on her natural intelligence, while partying hard every weekend. She once got busted for smoking pot on campus and was suspended for two weeks. Her parents threw her into counseling thinking the drug experimentation was a cry for either help or attention and not a rite of passage or enjoyable hobby. She played along to avoid discipline which was another of her ways of getting by.
When Gray was 16, something surged inside of her and she discovered new strengths and abilities she'd never had before. Aside from the nightmares, she was grateful to find herself stronger, faster, quicker at healing and with keener senses than she had ever had before.
Just after her 17th birthday, a couple of strangers rolled into town looking for her. Xander Harris and Solvei Samuels had a lot of answers to a lot of questions Gray had. She was initially resistant to head off to some school for people like her, thinking it was some kind of freak cult, but found out (mostly through the persistence and convincing of Sol) that it was actually legit. Her life in Baltimore was going nowhere, and the idea of either going to th college where her dad taught or taking over the reigns of the restaurant made her want to hurl herself into the Harbor. She gladly accepted their offer and soon found herself in Los Angeles and attending the school for slayers that was jointly run for Kennedy Bradford and Faith Lehane.
Gray had a lot of personal issues stemming from a wild streak and several years of rebelling without a cause. She found it hard to relate to most of the girls and so she didn't make too many friends too quickly or too easily. Even the girls who lived in the room right next to her didn't even know her name. What few friends she had were enough for her and she tried to learn as much as she could from the older slayers while she was there.
Then came the big battle. Lots of girls died, but they weren't important because there were literally thousands of them which made them expendable. She remembers them falling down around her, then a slashing of her throat and her blood spilling all over Lucy Silverlake's pretty little face. She attempted to catch Gray but then she left her for dead on the middle of the battleground. Gray was barely clinging to life, and it hurt to breathe much less move her bruised and broken body but she was still alive underneath her skin. But Lucy let her be dead. And one by one, the rest of them followed suit. They walked right past her because she looked like she was dead, and her pulse was almost too low to be detected.
But Gracyn Bennett was still alive.
A morgue attendant in a nearby hospital that was taking some of the overflow discovered the mistake once he had her on that cold steel table and she moaned in pain. She was immediately rushed upstairs to their trauma bay and stitched up, medicated, and taken to a room where she would spend over three weeks healing. Even with her accelerated slayer healing.
When she was released, she decided she didn't want to be at the slayer school anymore. She didn't even want to be in Los Angeles. So she went home, much to the surprise of her parents. Her friend Julietta had had the decency to track them down in person and tell them that their daughter was dead. Once the shock wore off and she made up a decent enough explanation, Gray went back to her normal life in Baltimore. She took up a job waiting tables at her mom's restaurant and she even began to reconsider her stance on not attending college.
And then one night she came home and found her parents had changed. Literally changed. Someone had turned them both and they immediately attacked her. She tried to run from them, she tried to hide but in the end she had to stake both of them. Lost and defeated, she sold the house and the restaurant, got rid of everything they owned except for her mom's car which she took with her back to L.A.
She has no plans on going back to the school since it's overwhelming clear that neither Faith nor Kennedy are equipped enough to train and prepare the girls to fight their personal battles. She also has no desire to be around the other girls who all seem to have just moved on like nothing had ever happened and no one like them had died terribly just months ago, and a large number of them at that. But she has realized that being a slayer is something she can't outrun and that even trying to do so got her parents killed.
Rather than face the consequences of the danger she puts all those around her in, she'd rather face the people who let her be dead.
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